Writers and artists needed for various assignments

Read below information carfully!!

Here is a list of what I need right now and what it pays. when replying via email, make sure you enter the correct subject matter in the subject bar so I know why your emailing me, like for example if your aplying for cartoonist, make sure the subject is labeled "cartoonist for hire" or something like that. Emails marked "no subject" or "I'm your man" or "in regards to your ad" will not be opened or read by me.
Make sure you include examples of your work in the email and tell me if it has been previously published or not. Previously published work will not be excluded, I just want to know where I stand with it.

What I need:

Funny cartoons-- like far side style, or multipanel cartoons like peanuts, I don't care how good an artists you are as long as its funny. Pays 25$ per cartoon. The more cartoons you have the more you can earn. styles and themes can vary from light hearted to offensive and edgy, will not accept porno comics or x rated.
Make sure you include examples of your work in the email and tell me if it has been previously published or not.

Landscape art--what I need is paintings of landscapes, city scapes, and interior scenes, to sell as prints on a website. I will be altering and ading my own images to your work. I am not able to sell just regular landscapes or regular art in general. I can't tell you the website, or let you see the final image after I am done with it. This eliminates any later problems with artists geting mad and protects my idea. If you find the image later on the web thats fine. Also I cannot credit your name to the image or art. This in not for you to get exposure, just money. You will be paid 3.00 for each print that sells. The more art you submit the more money you will make. You must sign a contract saying that I have rights to sell reproductions of your image (altered or not) for at least 3 months. I sell a large amount of these prints so you will make a lot of money. It is important that you do not ask a bunch of questions about this because I don't have time to answer them, if you want tom make money just email me your images and I will sell them and give you your share. Thats it!! This is totally legitimate I am just trying to make it as easy on me as possible.

thanks,
Justin anon3443@hotmail.com